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Chapter 23
December 2, 2009 | Filed Under Meeghan | Leave a Comment
Meeghan waited on the court steps for her bright-eyed young lawyer, Ellen. She knew it was entirely inappropriate of her mother to suggest hiring her baby cousin to work on her divorce case as a family favor but had been assured that her uncle, also a lawyer, would be supervising.
It was only 8:45 and San Francisco was already teeming with life. Yuppies, bicycle messengers, and ordinary folk weaved between each other without managing to actually make contact or collide. Everyone took such care, even in their haste, to avoid touching. A large industrial garbage truck shrieked steadily and loudly, warning the world that it was backing up. Meeghan wished her marriage had come with a similar alarm.
She took a sip of her coffee and felt a tap on her shoulder.
“Wasn’t ‘being on time’ required to pass the bar?” she half joked.
The blood drained from Meeghan’s face as she turned to see Max rather than her slightly irresponsible cousin.
“Oh…”
A man running up the court steps grazed Meeghan’s purse almost knocking the strap off of her shoulder. She quickly steadied her bag and scowled. Max mock-reached out his hand to help
“Watch yourself. We wouldn’t want to lose any of those pills.”
Meeghan squinted her eyes at him. It was way too early in the morning to throw around passive aggressive insults.
“My prescriptions are none of your-”
“None of my business?”
Max took a step toward his wife.
Meeghan, suddenly uncomfortable with this stranger, took a step back. In the last few years of their marriage they’d had a silent agreement: she went along with everything he said, and he didn’t mention her chemical dependence.
“No, none of your business. Especially not now.”
She took another step back and found herself up against a concrete pillar.
“You can use me as your excuse for your rapidly declining unhappiness but if you happen to find a lucid moment in which you’re willing to be honest with yourself you’d see that you were on this path long before you ever met me.” Max rested an arm on the pillar behind Meeghan and spoke just a few inches away from her face. A passerby could have interpreted their intimate distance as affection had they missed the fight or flight flashing in Meeghan’s eyes.
Max went on, speaking in a slow, low tone. “I never deluded myself. I know you married me as an escape from your myriad of fears.”
“And you just wanted someone to control.”
“You friends may say that but the two of us, we know different. From the start you refused to make a decision. I saw how afraid you were of failing at anything and tried to make it easy for you knowing you’d blame me at some point. And here we are.”
Meeghan felt herself becoming angry. “Well thank you for rescuing me. Aren’t you a saint. Next time I’ll bring a medal.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
“I may have needed you then, Max, but I’m not a blank canvass for you to draw all over anymore.”
“You’ve found another artist?”
“How dare you. If I’m such a weak, pathetic woman then why did you-”
“I thought the children would help ground you and was wrong.”
“You don’t know me.” She blinked back stinging tears at the mention of the kids.
“You don’t either.”
Meeghan turned her head and could see Ellen stumbling up the stairs. She juggled an oversized designer bag and slippery file folders. Finally.
She felt Max’s eyes searching her face and avoided meeting his intense gaze. “C’mon Ellen,” she pleaded silently.
Ellen reached down to rescue a pen that had fallen out of her bag and nearly fell over.
Max leaned in closer and for a moment, Meeghan was petrified that he’d kiss her.
He spoke. “But I do want to.”
“Want to what, ” Meeghan was surprised that she could speak as she felt without breath.
Ellen popped up, puzzled. This couldn’t be the Max she’d heard so much about from the family. She wondered if Meeghan had already started dating.
Max took his hand off of the pillar and stepped back giving Meeghan her personal space back. She took a deep breath.
He put both hands in his coat pocket. “Know you. I want to.”
And he walked up the steps.
Ellen waited for him to be out of earshot before adjusting her glasses and turning to Meeghan. In a tone that sounded more girlfriend trying to get the dish than divorce lawyer she asked, “Ok, who was that?”
Meeghan answered without turning towards her, “I have no idea.”
