$250,000.

River nursed Naomi in her lap. “She wants to invest. I guess the idea of a green shop-at-home catalog company isn’t so crazy after all…”

Oliver said nothing. The only sound in the room was Naomi’s soft swallows.

“When does she want repayment?”

“We haven’t discussed the details yet. We’ll get together next week.”

Oliver’s face changed from happy and shocked to worried. He handed the check back to River and turned toward the kitchen sink.

Naomi had now fallen asleep. River brushed dark strands of wild hair out of her baby’s face.

“What is it?”

Oliver turned around slowly.

“Dawn owns a multi-million dollar company with international distribution. How can you be sure she’s going to be…-”

“Fair? Because she’s one of my dearest friends.”

River tried to push down the feelings of disappointment, annoyance, and worst of all, fear as she slowly stood up and placed Naomi on a pile of soft cotton blankets in the living room. She stared at her sleeping child laying peacefully amongst the bold currant, mango orange, and blood red prints of fabric. It had been nine years since she’d purchased them while wandering alone in an Istanbul bazaar. A few crumpled Turkish lira for two armfuls of blankets.

Why couldn’t all transactions be so simple?

She knew Oliver was right. He knew that she understood by her silence.

Ten minutes later she was in front of her computer Googling “business partner contracts” feeling like anyone but herself. Her intense discomfort grew as she clicked through stories of deals gone bad and how to protect oneself from a crooked agreement.

She pictured her old friend’s face in her heart and slammed the laptop shut. No.

“If I’m going to do business, I’ll do it my way,” she whispered semi-audibly and was only partly surprised when the walls seemed to answer with a sarcastic, “Good luck”.

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It was only 8:45 and San Francisco was already teeming with life. Yuppies, bicycle messengers, and ordinary folk weaved between each other without managing to actually make contact or collide. Everyone took such care, even in their haste, to avoid touching. A large industrial garbage truck shrieked steadily and loudly, warning the world that it was backing up. Meeghan wished her marriage had come with a similar alarm.

She took a sip of her coffee and felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Wasn’t ‘being on time’ required to pass the bar?” she half joked.

The blood drained from Meeghan’s face as she turned to see Max rather than her slightly irresponsible cousin.

“Oh…”

A man running up the court steps grazed Meeghan’s purse almost knocking the strap off of her shoulder. She quickly steadied her bag and scowled. Max mock-reached out his hand to help

“Watch yourself. We wouldn’t want to lose any of those pills.”

Meeghan squinted her eyes at him. It was way too early in the morning to throw around passive aggressive insults.

“My prescriptions are none of your-”

“None of my business?”

Max took a step toward his wife.

Meeghan, suddenly uncomfortable with this stranger, took a step back. In the last few years of their marriage they’d had a silent agreement: she went along with everything he said, and he didn’t mention her chemical dependence.

“No, none of your business. Especially not now.”

She took another step back and found herself up against a concrete pillar.

“You can use me as your excuse for your rapidly declining unhappiness but if you happen to find a lucid moment in which you’re willing to be honest with yourself you’d see that you were on this path long before you ever met me.” Max rested an arm on the pillar behind Meeghan and spoke just a few inches away from her face. A passerby could have interpreted their intimate distance as affection had they missed the fight or flight flashing in Meeghan’s eyes.

Max went on, speaking in a slow, low tone. “I never deluded myself. I know you married me as an escape from your myriad of fears.”

“And you just wanted someone to control.”

“You friends may say that but the two of us, we know different. From the start you refused to make a decision. I saw how afraid you were of failing at anything and tried to make it easy for you knowing you’d blame me at some point. And here we are.”

Meeghan felt herself becoming angry. “Well thank you for rescuing me. Aren’t you a saint. Next time I’ll bring a medal.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

“I may have needed you then, Max, but I’m not a blank canvass for you to draw all over anymore.”

“You’ve found another artist?”

“How dare you. If I’m such a weak, pathetic woman then why did you-”

“I thought the children would help ground you and was wrong.”

“You don’t know me.” She blinked back stinging tears at the mention of the kids.

“You don’t either.”

Meeghan turned her head and could see Ellen stumbling up the stairs. She juggled an oversized designer bag and slippery file folders. Finally.

She felt Max’s eyes searching her face and avoided meeting his intense gaze. “C’mon Ellen,” she pleaded silently.

Ellen reached down to rescue a pen that had fallen out of her bag and nearly fell over.

Max leaned in closer and for a moment, Meeghan was petrified that he’d kiss her.

He spoke. “But I do want to.”

“Want to what, ” Meeghan was surprised that she could speak as she felt without breath.

Ellen popped up, puzzled. This couldn’t be the Max she’d heard so much about from the family. She wondered if Meeghan had already started dating.

Max took his hand off of the pillar and stepped back giving Meeghan her personal space back. She took a deep breath.

He put both hands in his coat pocket. “Know you. I want to.”

And he walked up the steps.

Ellen waited for him to be out of earshot before adjusting her glasses and turning to Meeghan. In a tone that sounded more girlfriend trying to get the dish than divorce lawyer she asked, “Ok, who was that?”

Meeghan answered without turning towards her, “I have no idea.”

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“Macy’s east coast distributors would like to meet with you about creating an exclusive line, here you go,” she handed Dawn a pink Post-It note.

“I’ll review my messages later. I need to make a private call,” she said taking the stack of notes her assistant held.

Dawn walked into the office, closed the door and sank into her smooth leather armchair. She closed her eyes and tried to envision a future that nurtured her husband’s career and hers simultaneously. She spoke into the air, “Canada? Are they serious?”

Dawn used to joke that the only places she’d ever live were San Francisco, New York City, and in first-class flying between them.

She loosely entertained the idea of running her business from the great white north. It was more than possible. Dawn tapped her fingernails on her keyboard trying to ignore the panicky feeling that was creeping up her spine. The idea of leaving Lisa, River, and Meeghan consumed her. Was that why she’d been so generous with River earlier?

A childlike giggle spilled out of her. She recalled River’s face as she held Dawn’s first investor payment in her hands: a check for $250,000. If Rivers’ eyes had grown any bigger they probably would have rolled out onto the sidewalk. No, it wasn’t fear that had led to the hasty transaction; Dawn didn’t hesitate when she saw a viable business opportunity and this was one of them. She just hoped River wouldn’t let an inferiority complex get in the way of potential profits. They’d planned a seminal action plan meeting for the end of the week.

Fingering through her messages, Dawn saw one from her husband. She knew that today was the day corporate was going to let him know whether or not he’d be part of the move. If he was asked to stay on and join the Quebec team that would mean a whole new life for her without her best friends. If he was let go, that would mean everything he’d worked so hard for would be gone.

“Either way, I lose,” she whispered as she dialed his office number.

“WNBC, how may I direct your call?”

Dawn recognized the now-sober assistant’s blog.

“Hi Leslie, it’s Dawn.”

“Oh my gosh,” Leslie gushed, “I am so sorry about the other night. I should have known better than to mix Captain morgan’s and expensive wine…”

“Don’t even worry about it. Is Rick free?”

Leslie paused for a moment before continuing. “Sure. One moment.”

Dawn tried to distract herself with a brightly-colored stack of fabric swatches on her desk.

“Hello?” Rick sounded calm. Too calm.

“Hi Rick, I saw your message and just wanted to check in- how did everything go today?”

Rick took a deep breath.

“It went great.”

“So they kept you on then,” Dawn’s voice was flat in spite trying to force some enthusiasm.

“Yes.”

“Wow. Just, wow. So I guess we have a lot to do over the next few months,” Dawn tried to remain positive.

“Dawn. I start in Quebec next week.”

And suddenly the investor was silent.

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Separation counseling. In a perfect world she would be wandering the aisles of her local baby boutique with images of pink and blue floating through her mind, not deciding the fate of her marriage.

Grace let out a shriek as her multi-colored blanket got caught in the stroller gears and was yanked from her hand. Lisa quickly pulled the lovey free and handed it back to her daughter. As she rose she saw Thomas in the office building parking lot. She would have thought the woman he was speaking to was the counselor, as she’d never met her before, but the distance they were standing from each other was too close for to be just business.

Lisa began to take a slow step forward but stopped when she saw her kiss Thomas on the cheek. She blinked. Did she just see that? She gripped the stroller handles tightly as if they the only thing anchoring her to the ground.

Thomas stood expressionless with his hands in his suit pocket as the woman walked away, entered a car and left. It was only when the car passed right by where Lisa and Grace were standing that he noticed them. He look startled.

“That was…” he began as he walked briskly over to his family.

Lisa pushed past him and made her way into the building. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s get this over with.”

Below her cool tone were a plethora of questions: Was that the woman? Was he staying with her? Was he in love with her?

The elevator ride up to the third floor felt painfully long. Grace was now happily squiring in her father’s arms. Lisa struggled to integrate her husband’s cheating partner and loving father personas. It amazed her how two seemingly opposite words, cheating and loving, could coexist within one human being. Kind of like pregnant and alone.

Before long the family was in the office of Dr. Rosen. Lisa tuned out while Thomas explained their situation to the licensed psychologist. Her attention drifted from the certificates on the wall, to the thin branches waving to her from outside the window, to the pretty pink hem on her navy blue skirt. Her mind did everything it could to convince her that she wasn’t there.

“Lisa? Lisa?” Dr. Rosen’s voice brought her back to the present moment.”And what is your intention for this session?”

Lisa ignored the question and turned to her husband. “Who was that?”

Thomas looked at Dr. Rosen and then back at his oddly calm wife. “Dr. Rosen asked you to state your intention for this counseling session.”

Grace sat on her father’s lap sucking on a teething biscuit. Wet, crumbling pieces of cracker fell to the carpet.

“Was that her?” Lisa crinkled her brow.

Dr. Rosen started to speak, “Before we get into any specifics I’d really like to-”

Lisa stood up. “This was a mistake. Counselors are for people committed to solving problems and moving forward. I’m not an idiot.” She turned to the doctor. “Thank you for your time.”

She started to scoop Gracie into her arms when she caught the scent of the damp crackers. The ordinary mundane smell stirred her almost-empty stomach. She felt the orange juice, the only thing she’d been able to “eat” that morning, begin to make an appearance.

Luckily the trash can was within reach.

The room was silent as Lisa came up for air.

Dr. Rosen began to rise slowly, “Are you okay? You’re obviously in distress.”

Lisa’s eyes avoided Thomas’ stare.

“No,” he said flatly, “She’s pregnant.”

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Lisa entered the apartment carrying a sleeping Grace on her chest. Somehow it was emptier than it had ever been before. Signs of life were everywhere; dishes in the sink, baby clothes and diapers on almost every surface, magazines, an abandoned cup of tea.

To anyone else it would have looked like a typical messy living space but to Lisa, it was an evacuated war zone.

Although it was the last room she wanted to enter, Lisa walked into the bedroom and placed Grace down in her playpen. She watched her baby stir, turn down the corners of her mouth as if she were going to cry, then settle back down to slip against the familiar smell of her blankets.

Without making a sound she curiously turned to the small closet and whipped it open quickly, in the same fashion one rips off a band-aid. Thomas had taken his clothes. She felt as if someone had removed all of the air from the bedroom and had to sit down on the bed to catch her breath.

Grace would be up soon.

Lisa pushed her way up to her mismatched pillows and crawled under the sheets and away from the world. She envied her child’s innocent and simple life. She felt a hunger pang in the depth of her stomach followed by a tidal wave of nausea and remembered.

Touching her palm to her abdomen she realized that all of the times in her life when she’d thought she didn’t know what to do had been a farce. In those moments she had known what path to take, word to say, and choice to make. She’d just been to scared to act. This was the only true moment in her life that was marked by an ominous question mark.

When she and Thomas had talked briefly and coldly the night before about a schedule for Grace and meeting with a separation counselor there just wasn’t a right moment to say, “Oh yeah and I’m pregnant.”

As Lisa’s eyes lost the battle against fatigue she decided to wait. Maybe time, for once, would tell.

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The file folder she was holding flew into the air and paper rained down on top of her.

River scrambled to her feet and glanced right and left out of the corners of her eyes.

“Oh my god,” she thought to herself as she struggled to gather her belongings, taking note of how the busy, smartly dressed people buzzing around tried to sympathetically avert their gaze. “Hot mess on Aisle 2. What was I thinking.”

With papers sticking out every which way from the portfolio under her arm, River angrily turned and put her hand to the door. Another dramatic exit.

“Are you really going to give up that easily?”

River turned to see Dawn standing in the middle of the lobby in a perfectly tailored black skirt suit. In the center of entrepreneurial naiveté she looked like a queen. All she needed was a crown.

Or a crushing scepter. River’s brow furrowed as Dawn’s hurtful words the day before came to mind. Lisa’s baby daddy drama may have trumped her feelings for a brief period of time, but she hadn’t forgotten how her dreams had been stomped down.

“What are you doing here?,” River took two steps toward Dawn.

A busy FedEx delivery man walked briskly through the building’s doors bumping River’s shoulder as he passed. Her papers once again tumbled to the outdated tile. She nodded her head, agreeing with fate that her plans were worthless as she bent to pick up the litter.

She heard the clicking of designer heels walking toward her and was surprised when Dawn knelt to the floor to help.

They silently put the portfolio together and stood.

“I was mean.”

“You were rotten.”

“I’d had a tough weekend.”

“No excuse.”

“No excuse.” Dawn nodded and began to smile slowly.

River held up a finger as they linked arms and made their way to a seating area . “Don’t look happy! I’m still mad.”

They both knew River held on to anger with about as much commitment as a 2 year-old holds on to a glass of anything.

When both women were comfortably seated River squinted her eyes suspiciously. “So what are you doing here?”

“I called Oliver to apologize and he let me know that-”

“I’m way over my head?”

“That you you had a meeting with a small business adviser.”

River scanned the large cold lobby feeling more out of place by the second.

“You belong here as much as anyone else does,” Dawn said, reading her mind.

River said nothing. She checked her watch and stood suddenly.

“My meeting is in 2 minutes. Suite 401…401…!”

“This way,” Dawn popped up and lead her friend to the elevator. As they stood it was River’s turn to be psychic.

“You’ve been here?”

“All of the Small Business Administrations are the same. You think I was born an entrepreneur?”

By the time they arrived at Suite 401 a rushed looking gentleman in a stuffy argyle sweater was tapping his pen against the table top impatiently.

“So sorry to keep you waiting!” River extended her hand. He shook the tip of her fingers weakly and then wordlessly took her portfolio.

Dawn and River exchanged “Is he for real?” glances before sitting in the plastic chairs opposite the inquisitor.

He spoke while flipping through the pages. “Your business plan looks fine…executive summary is detailed, operating plan…very good. Come back in two months.”

River’s eyes went wide. “That’s it?”

“You’re right on track. All of paperwork is in order..albeit a bit wrinkled, but very well put together. I have 17 other entrepreneurs to see today, most of them will need my help more than you. Take it as a compliment.”

The women stood and walked in to the hallway.

River was buzzing. “He called me an entrepreneur,” she whispered.

Dawn didn’t answer. She was too busy scanning River’s business plans. “You know this isn’t half bad. Your marketing and financial plans are a bit thin but there is some real potential here.”

“Oh yeah?” River pressed the elevator button.

“Yeah.”

They stepped into the elevator.

“Are you accepting investors?”

River laughed, “Yes, the opening buy-in is $1 million dollars,” she said jokingly.

Dawn pushed the “L” button. “Done.”

River stopped laughing.

The elevator doors shut.

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It was almost 5:30. Her mother would be getting the kids ready for a dinner prepared, no doubt, with both skill and love. Meeghan marveled at how she’d managed to get the first part down, but adding “love” was a meal ingredient she never could seem to muster up. It had been chased away by her need to be perfect. For Max.

Somehow during the years they’d been married, all of the things she used to love to do: shopping, cooking, even tidying up their home between housekeeping visits, had become unbearable.  It was impossible to buy a novel or pick out a fall trench without wondering, “What would Max think?”

Meeghan rested her body against the steering wheel and hugged its leather curves.

She wasn’t afraid of the meeting before the judge tomorrow even though she knew losing was inevitable. Nobody beats Max. She wondered what he wanted. Her mind wouldn’t let her consider that it was the children.

A tap on the driver’s side window startled Meeghan. It was Melanie. The small girl looked at her mother solemnly. Meeghan began to wind down the window and then thought it better to open the door.

“Hi honey, how was school today?” She struggled to sound enthusiastic.

“Good. When are we going to see daddy,” Melanie asked in a voice more mature than a 6 year-old should posses. Meeghan noticed how her inquiry didn’t really sound like a question at all– more like a patient demand.

“Soon soon. Let’s go inside.”

Meeghan took Melanie by the hand and walked her up the stairs and into the warm home.

“Mom’s home!” Melanie called into the house before collapsing onto the couch and switching on the television.  She made it sound like a half-warning.

Melanie’s mother, a petite woman in her early fifties, peeked into the living room from the kitchen.

“Hi honey. Come in and make yourself useful, ” she sang with a smile.

Meeghan reluctantly made her way into the kitchen. Chopped red bell peppers, onions, and garlic sat waiting on a cutting board on one counter, fresh bread cooled on another. Pots sat atop all four burners, bubbling away, releasing different but complimentary scents.

Before she could say anything an apron was being tied around Meeghan’s waist. She thought about the $400 sweater she was wearing and how 2 square feet of polyester wasn’t going to protect it.

Meeghan’s mother went back to chopping vegetables and gave her daughter a wooden spoon. She motioned toward which pot needed stirring. Slowly and awkwardly, Meeghan stirred.

“How was your day, Meeghan?’

“Great mom, I met up with the girls and then had a quick meeting with the attorney…”

“Very nice, how is Dawn? Is River still saving the world?”

“They’re fine.”

“How old is Lisa’s daughter now?”

“She’s one.”

“So cute that Gracie is. Lisa is such a sweet mother, too. And wife.”

Meeghan was starting to feel sick. Suddenly the food didn’t smell all that nice.

“She really is.”

“You know I’ve always told you and your sisters: being a wife and mother is as important as any other job in the world. It takes dedication, commitment.”

Meeghan stared into the red pot of whatever she was mixing, secretly hoping it would start to burn.

“Yep. Yep,” she answered hypnotizing herself with the around and around motion of her spoon.

“Children take a lot of work to raise. It’s why stayed home to take care of all of you. I could have done many other things with my life. Wonderful things, but I realized that the only success that mattered was having a happy home life. If you don’t have that…”

Meeghan had stopped stirring and a large bubble of red liquid burst on to her sweater and face. The hot splatter stung and for a moment she wondered if someone had slapped her.

Her mother rushed over with a dish towel.

“Oh dear, are you okay?” she said as she carefully and lovingly wiped the thick liquid from her daughter’s face and then began to dab it from her soiled top. “I think it’s ruined. I’ll get you another. Where is it from?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m going to use the restroom.”

Meeghan undid her apron and handed it to her mom.

She stood in the small bathroom staring into the mirror. Red flecks sat on her cheeks. “Just like war paint,” she thought, “but then again, I’ve never fought for anything in my life.”

Warm water splashed from the sink quickly removed any signs of battle. Trashing the sweater required no mourning ceremony as it had been a gift from her husband. It now sat amongst snippets of toilet paper rolls and Q-tips in the trash. Standing in her bra, Meeghan opened the mirror and removed the prescription bottle. She raised it as if initiating a toast at her best friend’s wedding.

“Cheers.”

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“Shh! She’s waking up,” Dawn hissed.

“Do you think she’ll recognize us,” River whispered, worried.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

Lisa willed her eyes to flutter open.

“Honey!” Dawn took her hand.

Lisa smiled weakly from her hospital bed. Her first thought upon realizing that she was wearing a hospital gown was how many people had seen her naked. She tried to remember what underwear she’d put on that morning.

River stroked Lisa’s hair.

“I’m so glad Dawn caught me before I got on the train! My heart almost stopped. Sweetie, have you fainted before? Did you skip breakfast?”

Lisa remembered and closed her eyes, trying to find peace. She focused on the beeping heart monitor as if it were her own personal metronome.

River turned to Dawn.

“Should we call the nurse?”

“No. She just needs a minute. I’ll explain later. Do you mind grabbing me something sweet from the vending machines? I’m feeling a little weak myself.”

River grabbed her purse. “Of course I can! Ladies, it’s the most important meal of the day.”

Dawn and Lisa watched the door slowly close behind River.

“Tell me.” Lisa’s voice was hoarse and low.

Dawn looked at her friend and although she desperately wanted to spare her the details, she began.

“It was last year. I’d just finished up a meeting with our Japanese distributor. As I was in the lobby…I turned and saw him. Thomas stepped out of the elevator with a..a…woman. He kissed her.”

Lisa looked up at invisible answers on the ceiling.

Dawn continued.

“I followed him out to the parking lot. I guess my mind wouldn’t let me believe it was really him until I saw that he was driving your car. Gracie’s carseat was in the back…Lisa I am so sorry. I would have told you…I confronted him and he fell apart, he cried. Told me about how she was a friend from work …that they’d mostly just talked…they were both lonely. You’d just had the baby. I didn’t want to upset you. I wanted to believe that he’d been scared straight.”

Lisa felt a million miles from the conversation. She tried to imagine what she could have been doing while her husband had been sharing a hotel room with another woman.

Maybe she’d been giving newborn Grace a bath. Pouring warm water over her pink Buddha belly.

Dawn squeezed Lisa’s hand harder, silently begging for forgiveness.

River burst into the room with two handfuls of packaged trail-mix.

“Under normal circumstanced I’d never let you eat this cra- .”

Feeling the thick mood River stopped talked and stared.

Suddenly the door flew open again and Thomas rushed over to Lisa’s side. He put his hand on her head.

“Geez, Lisa, what happened? I just checked my voicemail..Are you okay? ”

He cupped her face with both hands as if trying to determine what was broken.

Lisa couldn’t bring herself to speak.

Dawn turned to River.

“Let’s give them a minute.”

When they were alone, all Lisa could do was stare at her husband. He assumed her unchecked gaze was a result of an injury.

“Has the doctor been in yet? Lisa, how do you feel? What happened?”

“I fainted.” Speaking was painful, but not physically. Each word she heard herself speak made the the situation more and more real.

“What? Why? Where is the doctor?” Thomas was frantic.

“Where’s Gracie?”

“With Mrs. Michaels in 4C, she said take as long as we need…Where is the doctor?”

“Are you having an affair?”

Thomas felt the air unnaturally leave his lungs as if he’d been kicked in the stomach.

Lisa repeated her question, “Are you having an affair, Thomas?”

Thomas slowly sat down in the chair next to her bed. He folded his hands and silently begged the God of his childhood to rescue him. In the moments before he answered he pondered time travel, what his life would look like after today, and if he was about to lose everything that ever mattered to him.

Without looking her in the eye, Thomas released the truth.

“No. Yes, I did, but no, I’m not. It was a one time thing, I’m so sorry Lisa, you have to believe me. I was crazy, I’d lost my mind, I-”

“Stop talking.”

Lisa felt herself grow up. Suddenly there was no room for all of the adolescent self-loathing she so often indulged in. Puberty ended by infidelity.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how I found out?”

“I knew she’d tell you eventually.”

“Which is why you tried to ruin my relationship with my best friend by relentlessly pursuing a job you knew she’d never give you…” Lisa began to piece the picture together. “You knew she’d come off looking like Cruella De Vil.”

“I thought that I could fix things…but not if she were there to-”

“Tell me the truth.”

Thomas was breathing shallowly, afraid.

Do you want me to-”

“Leave.”

Thomas looked up at his wife, trying to guage the scope of her request.

She clarified.

“Leave the room. Leave the apartment. Leave my life.”

“Are you serious? Gracie…”

“I’ll have someone pick her up.”

Thomas wasn’t asking what would happen with his daughter that afternoon but Lisa knew that.

Although he was scared to leave the room terrified of leaving things as they were, he couldn’t stand the way she was looking at him.

He stood up and walked out of the room. Lisa stared straight ahead. Before he closed the door he turned back as if he was going to say something and then reconsidered.

When she heard the door click shut Lisa let out a deep, shuddering breath and again looked toward the ceiling, this time to begging her tears to sink back beneath her eyes.

The door opened again and she turned quickly, surprised that Thomas had come back.

Instead of her husband, a young doctor stood in front of her holding a chart.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Nichols. All of your tests came up fine, you’re just a little bit anemic. I wrote you a prescription for a some iron.”

Lisa nodded as she took the white slip of paper from the doctor’s hand.

He shook his head and smiled as he headed for the door.

“And there’s no need to worry. The baby is just fine.”

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Lisa took a deep breath. For a moment she was overwhelmed by a simultaneous sense of personal power and vulnerability.

Dawn waited patiently and coolly; five years of running an international company had gifted her with the most stoic of poker faces.

“What’s up?”

“Do I even have to ask?”

“Lisa, for the third time, I’m very sorry my secretary sent that letter out. What, do you want me to fire her?”

Lisa cocked her head. “Do I really come off as that stupid?”

The young waitress walked up to the table just in time to hear Lisa’s words. Feeling the tension between the two customers she slithered away before asking if they needed anymore tea. Better to leave them without an abundance of hot liquids should the fight get nasty.

“What in the world are you talking about,” Dawn countered, offended.

“I mean, I know I come off as oblivious sometimes… In my own little angsty world but come on. It’s become crystal clear to me that in the past few months you and my husband have declared war on each other. I want to know why.”

Dawn stared at Lisa like a raccoon about to be flattened by the virgin all-terrain wheels of a speeding Range Rover. Trapped.

Lisa took a deep breath. “Did you and Thomas have an aff-“

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Dawn spit out the words.

Lisa had seen that face before.  It was when they were in Cabo and a boutique owner had made the almost deadly mistake of trying to pass off faux python slingbacks as the real thing.  Why anyone would want to stomp around wearing reptile was beyond Lisa’s imaginative abilities but one thing was clear to her—Dawn was an insulted now as she was then.

She was telling the truth.

A wave of relief slammed over Lisa, washing away the tough chick act. Her posture dropped and hands flew up as she asked, “Then what the hell is going on?!”

Dawn’s face was turned away from the table. Her shoulders were hunched oddly. A stifled sob.

“Dawn?” Lisa was alarmed.

She rose quickly, almost knocking her chair over, and took the seat next to Dawn, who was now rushing to collect herself. Lisa felt terror rise in her, the way a child is scared to the bone when a previously God-like parent exhibits fear for the first time.

Dawn turned to Lisa and locked eyes. She drew a long breath and took Lisa’s clammy hand.

“You are only half correct. Thomas husband did have an affair. But it wasn’t with me.”

Lisa had heard fainters use the expression, “the ground rushed up to meet me,” but never realized how true it was. She didn’t even feel her head hit the floor.

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She took a prescription bottle out of her purse and discreetly tapped out a small blue pill. By now she didn’t need water to help get it down.

Max had petitioned the court for an emergency hearing first thing tomorrow morning. Meeghan remembered when the worst thing that could happen on a Monday was an 8 AM anthropology midterm. Now she had to worry about the antics of a man with one of the best lawyers in the state.

Meeghan swallowed hard and willed herself not to cry as she thought of the possibility of spending only every other weekend with her kids.

She wished she hadn’t let it get this bad. She wished she’d tried harder to convince him that they’d needed counseling. Once more she frantically scanned the cafe. Where was everybody? Another pill.

A hand on her shoulder startled her. Meeghan nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Whoa there,” Lisa put her hands up, showing that they were empty of all sharp objects, “Someone got a head start on the espresso!”

She sat down.

Meeghan tossed her hair, “I’m so glad you’re finally here. I think the management was about to banish me to the counter.”

Lisa wasn’t sure what to say. “So…Dawn told me. How are you?”

“I’m as well as can be expected. My backbone and I are getting reacquainted but I’m anticipating the battle of the century from my dear soon-to-be-ex husband. The good news is that if it makes the Living section of The Chronicle I’ll have something for my scrapbook.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow.

A young, chestnut-haired college student with glasses appeared at the table ready to take their order.

“Hello, how can I help you ladies?”

Meeghan answered, “Lavender tea, a pot, and madeleines for four.”

“How many madeleines?”

Meeghan stared, “For four people. That means four cookies. We can’t all have the metabolism of a 20 year-old waitress and start binging on dessert, now can we?”

“O-kay,” the waitresses eyed Lisa, probably trying to determine if the crazy applied to both of them before leaving.

Before Lisa could speak River floated in and took a seat next to her.

“Good morning, mothers, caretakers of the world, keepers of humanity, ” River grinned angelically.

Lisa turned toward her bubbly friend, “Well! Someone either found a new job or got laid. I hope both. Do share.”

Meeghan forced a tight smile.

River placed her bag under the table and laced her fingers. “I’m starting a business.”

“Who’s starting a business?” Dawn asked as she sat next to Meeghan looking like a vision in suede.

River raised her hand shyly.

Lisa gave her a hug. “Congratulations! That is amazing! I’ve been waiting for you to use that quirky creativity for something other than beautiful but-kind-of useless lanyards, no offense, since forever.”

River smiled and waited for Meeghan and Dawn to shower encouragement.

“Great job, honey.” Meeghan tapped River’s hand.

River turned toward Dawn. She’d been most nervous about sharing the news with her uber-successful girlfriend but looked forward to her shrewd advice.

A fragrant glass pot of tea was placed on the table with a pretty ceramic plate of fresh madeleines. Dawn slowly poured herself a cup and blew before taking a short sip.

The atmosphere was getting more and more awkward by the second and River waited for her to speak.

“So…what do you think Mrs. CEO,” River said hopefully, “Do you have any words of wisdom to impart?”

Dawn placed her tea on the table.

“Is there a reason you don’t want to just get a job?”

River’s whole body tensed up. Meeghan looked away.

“Dawn! Are you serious? River just announced that she’s going to pour her heart into a venture the same way you did. Is it just against your nature to be supportive?”

Fighting words.

Lisa stared across the table at Dawn, wanting to say so many things, ask so many questions, but using every ounce of patience in her to wait.

“Against my nature to be supportive? Absolutely not. I just want to make sure she’s thought this through. Business isn’t for the faint of heart. Anything can happen at any time.”

River spoke up quietly, “I know that, I’m not some weakling. If you’ll remember before Green Helps I worked with some of the largest environmental watchdog organizations in the world…”

Dawn cut her off, “Yes, you ‘worked with,’ you didn’t own the company. It’s a completely different level of responsibility. I just don’t want to see you fail.” Dawn regretted the words as they came out of her mouth but couldn’t stop herself.

Lisa had hear enough. “Well we’re very lucky to have you here making sure no one gets what they want because yes, it would be a shame for you to have to watch them screw it up.”

River squinted her eyes at Dawn, trying to find her friend. She couldn’t even begin to feel angry. Just hurt.

Despite the emotional waves riding across their table, Meeghan found herself feeling relaxed, almost fluid. She took River’s hand.

“Honey, if you need anything, just ask. And by anything, I mean hug or a smile because by the time Max is through with me I’ll be renting out an illegally attached room in Hayward.”

River was determined not to let the increasingly odd behavior of her friends dampen her spirits. She had work to do if this businesses was going to get off the ground and needed every ounce of motivation she had.

She reached under the table and grabbed her bag. “Thanks Meeghan.” She glanced at Lisa, “I actually can’t stay, I just wanted to share my news. I’ll see you all later.”

Before she left she turned to look at Dawn who seemed to avoid her gaze.

Meeghan also stood up. She didn’t want to risk everyone bailing before her. No way she was sitting alone again.

“I really need to meet with my lawyer, it’s been great talking to you girls,” her voice was syrupy. She gave her two friends a shoulder hug before floating off.

Dawn finally spoke up as if she’d been in another world, “You know, I’d better go too. This is going to be a busy week…”

Lisa’s eyes were fixed like a laser on Dawn, making her uncomfortable. Dawn stood.

“Sit down.” Lisa spoke in a voice Dawn had never heard before. Low and serious. The RA and newbie college coed switched positions. “We need to talk.”

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